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21 June 2009 @ 07:08 am
i'm on the phone with mark because i can't sleep. yeeaahh.. time's actually kinda moving now. i remember when i was like 7 weeks pregnant and thinking this would never end. now i'm almost at 18, and 20 is the halfway point. i'm starting my 5th month already, so its definitely starting to feel real to me.. i'm trying to think a little bit further into the future, and i have already decided i wont want wade in this baby's life. how many kids does the freakin guy have? and when will he learn? never apparently. everyone keeps telling me its only june and things can still change, but i really dont see it happening. i dont want anything to do with him. ever since i started seeing him months back, i havent painted, drawn, written hardly at all in a book i started working on years ago. grrr.. i feel deprived. of all the things i love. and for what? i guess this is why the really religious people say sex should be saved for marriage. because you could end up getting pregnant to some loser that in all actuality, you dont even really know. yuck.